This is the story of Carol Rhodes, whose powerful testimony about faith, loss, and the enduring presence of God is featured in the book Jurisdiction: A Cop and a Pastor Talk About Life, co-authored by Jim McNeff and Jon McNeff. Carol’s contribution focuses on the magnificence of heaven and the profound impact of faith during times of immense personal suffering.
Carol recounts her initial reaction to being asked to contribute to the book, humorously describing it as feeling like a “law enforcement version of ‘Who’s On First.’” However, she soon realized that her story encapsulated four transformative years of her life, years that challenged her foundational beliefs and ultimately deepened her understanding of God.
Her journey began in 1971, after 30 years of searching, when she found a relationship with Jesus Christ. This marked a radical change in her life, filling her with God’s goodness and love. She found guidance and peace in God’s Word and relied on prayer. This firm foundation prepared her for the trials that lay ahead.
On October 5, 2005, Carol and her husband, Rick, received a devastating diagnosis: cancer. Carol knew, deep down, that there would be no healing. Her prayer shifted to asking that Rick experience no fear and feel the overwhelming presence of God. Despite well-meaning suggestions for miracle cures and faith healers, Carol received a sign in a dream: “THIS IS WHAT GOD HAS CHOSEN.” This confirmed her original prompting and allowed her to focus on supporting her husband.
Eight weeks later, Rick passed away. Carol grappled with grief, but found solace in the thought that grief is an affirmation of love. She realized that the cost of loving is pain at the loss, but she would not trade the experience of love for anything. The message she received during Rick’s illness became a message for her new life: widowhood was God’s chosen path, a new calling.
Twenty months later, on a warm summer day in Texas, tragedy struck again. Carol’s middle son, Kevin, was instantly killed in a car accident. Despite the immense pain, Carol found comfort in the immediate thought, “You still do,” a reminder of eternal life. Yet, the grief was overwhelming, mixed with disappointment and confusion. She struggled to understand why Kevin, at only 44 years old, was taken so soon. She found solace in the reminder that God, too, had lost an innocent Son.
The song she had sung earlier that day, “My Peace I Give Unto You,” became a personal message from God, offering peace that transcends understanding. Carol learned that God’s peace isn’t the absence of grief, but rather its companion.
Four years later, almost to the day of Rick’s diagnosis, Carol’s youngest son, Dana, was diagnosed with cancer. Despite initial treatments, the cancer metastasized throughout his body. Dana and his family moved in with Carol, and she provided care and support. The church and community rallied around them with meals, assistance with the children, and prayers. Despite her pleas and bargaining with God, Dana grew worse and eventually passed away on January 10, 2010.
Carol felt that a part of her died with Dana. She struggled with her faith, questioning God’s plan. She attempted to distance herself from God, but found it impossible to sever a lifelong connection. She reflected on the story of John the Baptist, who questioned Jesus from prison. Like Peter, Carol realized she had seen too much to turn away from Jesus entirely. She had to confront the reality that she had made God into a small, manageable figure, and now she had to decide if she could trust a God she didn’t always understand.
Humbled and exhausted, Carol chose to bow the knee, to pray, and to trust. She realized that she did know what was going to transpire, through Jesus’ words that his disciples could expect trouble in this world. She understood that while little girls are taught to expect a “happily ever after,” the truth is that we live in a fallen world, but as believers, we also live with the hope of eternity. God had taken her prayers seriously—to be closer to Him, to know His power, to share His heart for others, to die to self, to live by faith—and He was in the process of answering those prayers. She just had no idea of the cost on this side of eternity.
The rest of this chapter on heaven will bless your soul. Jurisdiction: A Cop and a Pastor Talk About Life can be ordered here: Jurisdiction: A Cop and a Pastor Talk About Life.