Imagine working in a beautiful location. Perhaps you’re enjoying a breathtaking sunset over calm waters, a dense forest, or a sprawling green meadow. (Cynics, please hold your comments!) Then, a radio call shatters the peace: an armed robbery is in progress. You immediately leave the serene panorama behind, responding to the urgent call, hoping to apprehend the suspect.
Arriving at the scene, you find a store clerk lying face down in a pool of blood, deceased. The suspect has fled. The investigation and manhunt begin. Which will you remember more vividly: the incredible sunset or the robbery/homicide? It’s obvious, right?
While this is an extreme example, the same principle applies even with less dramatic events. It’s called the negativity bias. This bias is the tendency for humans to pay more attention to, or give more weight to, negative experiences than to neutral or positive ones. I used an extreme illustration because police officers encounter horrifying events daily. This is something we need to emotionally combat.
The psychological reality of negativity bias can significantly affect your behavior, decisions, and even your relationships. It’s a powerful force that shapes our perceptions.
Consider this: Think about compliments you’ve received from friends or colleagues. You likely felt good at the moment, but then moved on. Now, compare that to a single snarky remark. It probably impacted you more deeply. Perhaps it consumed your thoughts and lingered for days, or even years in some cases.
As the saying goes, “Good news is like Teflon… it slides off. Bad news is Velcro… it sticks.” A mentor once told me, “Good things last for a brief period of time, while bad things stick with us for weeks…” And it’s true! That’s why we take public criticism so personally, regardless of how hard we try to ignore it. “If only they knew the truth,” we say, regardless of their predisposition to be cop-haters.
Police officers are “doubly cursed.” We have the negativity bias to overcome, in addition to what I’ll call the cynicism effect, which needs to be understood while on duty and neutralized when we’re off. The cynicism effect is the natural skepticism that most cops possess to uncover the spurious motivations of wrongdoers. It can be your friend during a criminal investigation, yet a bitter enemy when interacting with friends and family. If you doubt me, ask your loved ones. You probably think everyone is guilty of something… I’ll bet some of you are guilty of being in denial right now. Ba Dum Bump!
So, what can we do? Since I am merely an amateur psychologist—as are most cops—I will keep this simple. Everything works better when joy is present. Yep, that’s it. Find joy!
Do you locate secreted evidence at a crime scene without looking? Of course not! Therefore, you will not find joy if you don’t look for it. Is your glass half-full or half-empty? I have been a slow learner of this lesson throughout life. While I enjoy comedy and experiencing a good laugh, the “cop-side” of me has played out way too often in personal encounters. Therefore, I have often missed joyful experiences when they’ve been present.
“If you don’t make up your mind your unmade mind will unmake you.” – E. Stanley Jones
While finding joy comes naturally to some people, my experience has been that most police officers need to work at it. It’s a mindset that I’ve needed to reinforce so it populates my thinking.
Dan Meers is the mascot for the Kansas City Chiefs. He remembers a rehearsal gone terribly wrong, and his thankfulness for what happened after. The faulty test jump of this stuntman possesses some good life lessons as how we can find joy.
Regardless of your perspective regarding Meers’ spiritual outlook, I hope you grasp the basic principles that he discussed. Find something that makes you happy that involves joy, not simply “bad news” about your enemies. If you can find some joy in life, you’ll treasure the peace and serenity that accompanies it.
Schadenfreude is the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction that comes from learning of or witnessing the troubles, failures, or humiliation of another—especially your enemies. It might bring momentary satisfaction, but if your life revolves around it, you will be a miserable, bitter person.
While looking for joy, nourish your mind with noble thoughts. Whatever you consume influences whom you become. Build worthwhile habits into your life and joy is sure to be present.