Many years ago, a mentor shared a valuable lesson: the importance of progressing from dependence to independence, and ultimately to inter-dependence. This concept suggests that individuals initially rely on mentors to learn and survive, but the ultimate goal is to achieve synergy with those who initially provided guidance.
The practical application of this wisdom is that young individuals should actively listen to experienced individuals as they navigate their chosen paths. They need to learn to stand on their own two feet and become “independent.” However, once they achieve this independence, the experienced generation should embrace the ingenuity and fresh perspectives of the younger generation to foster inter-dependent relationships. This collaborative process allows people of all ages – young, middle-aged, and older – to work together for the greater good.
In simpler terms, new recruits should prioritize listening over speaking, while veteran leaders should always remain open to hearing new ideas. This creates a dynamic environment where experience and innovation can merge.
My home office serves as a personal museum, filled with artifacts from a career in law enforcement. My Kevlar SWAT helmet, bearing my stenciled name, sits proudly atop a bookcase. Five framed badges, representing three decades of service, adorn the wall. Medals hang from a shelf, and my rookie picture is surrounded by well-wishes from colleagues throughout my career. Handcuffs and an asp complete my “museum.”
Among these items is a set of aged Peerless handcuffs, hanging on hooks that also hold my cherished asp – a device that seemed cutting-edge after years of carrying a hickory straight-stick, but now appears outdated compared to the Taser. Recently, my grandkids were playing with the handcuffs.
“Have these ever been on a bad guy?” they asked. “More than I can remember,” I replied.
“Did they (handcuffs) ever have blood on them?” was their next question.
“Oh yeah,” I answered. “They indeed had blood from bad guys on them a few times,” as I privately recalled an incident where a mortally wounded suspect took his last breath while wearing them.
“Wow, this is like a museum,” my granddaughter exclaimed.
Her comment, though amusing, highlights an important point. What I considered mementos, she viewed as relics of the past.
Children are naturally in a dependent stage, but they are constantly moving towards independence. As they mature into adults, like my own children, they will ideally become inter-dependent with me. This same progression occurs with new employees in police work. They transition from dependence to independence, and ultimately to interdependence. This is the optimal path.
To achieve the best results, young people need to receive guidance from experienced individuals, while veterans need to actively listen to the perspectives of younger members of the department. These younger members may offer suggestions that seem unfeasible or even be mocked, but they might also hold the answers to long-standing problems! Are we truly listening?
This principle applies universally. Consider America’s history. Initially, she was dependent on England. Then, she declared independence to become a new nation. Over time, alliances were formed, leading to inter-dependent relationships. The same can be said for people groups worldwide. While independence is valuable, if the pursuit of power overshadows the goal of interdependence, divisive factions emerge. We see this happening in pockets across America today.
Becoming inter-dependent is the best option for our families, our organizations, and our country! It fosters collaboration, innovation, and progress.