We often encounter articles about leadership, offering advice on how to effectively utilize our positions of influence. However, these guides don’t always address every type of individual in a position of authority. This commentary is tailored for those self-proclaimed, brilliant leaders who feel misunderstood because, frankly, they believe their subordinates aren’t as intelligent as they are.
Many leadership articles fail to grasp your unique brilliance, the sheer magnificence of your presence, and the perceived degradation of “serving” others through leadership, as opposed to dominating them due to their perceived lack of intelligence. So, let’s explore five satirical methods to “crush” subordinates and ensure they remain in their “rightful place”—looking up to your royal eminence!
You can afford to be stubborn, because, in your mind, you’re always right. Disregard the opinions of others. Stand firm and force them to comply with your demands. Any compromise is seen as weakness and a lack of resolve. Dig in for a fight if necessary. After all, you’re the boss.
That’s correct; you are unteachable because you already possess all the knowledge. When will others finally recognize this? It’s perfectly acceptable to be overbearing. It might be the only way to convince subordinates of your brilliance. Embrace your arrogance.
Doing the right thing” is an outdated cliché. Haven’t you heard the saying, “Good guys finish last?” That’s because they’re preoccupied with “doing the right thing.” Abandon this foolish notion. Do what benefits you! By practicing this principle, you’ll not only crush subordinates but also trample on peers. Furthermore, with enough practice, you can subtly push bosses aside as well. Go for it!
Aside from being stubborn, this might be the most enjoyable. Tell people to “shut up,” but don’t limit yourself to mere words. Transform into a brash, arrogant bully who stifles independent thought and creative solutions. If you desired to encourage such remedies, you’d be in social work, but you’re not! You’re the most self-righteous, rigid individual in your department. You’ve earned this stellar reputation by silencing those who have challenged your authority. As a result, don’t ease up on them. When you enter a room, there should be hushed silence because your opinion is the only one that matters. Have you crushed your subordinates today?
You are exempt from hypocrisy because rules apply to subordinates, not you. By the way, embrace the word “subordinate.” You need to use it whenever possible to remind people that you’re “the boss” and they are not. Place your rank in every sentence if necessary as a not-so-subtle reminder. So when it comes to rules, remember they apply to … who? … That’s right, SUBORDINATES! So go on, you can “write ‘em” and “break ‘em” whenever you’d like, because no one holds you accountable!
That should help weaponize your authority. After all, you don’t want anyone to prevail as you battle for supremacy, right?
Note: If this satirical piece did not resonate with you, here are some leadership articles that you might find useful: