Melinda Merritt, a friend in ministry and wife to a Texas police officer, shares her personal testimony of marital struggles and ultimate redemption through faith. Through her online platform, This Little Light of Mine, Melinda offers encouragement and insightful perspectives. This is her story.
Years ago, Melinda never imagined being married to someone in law enforcement. Both she and her husband grew up in the country, from different small towns. Her husband came from a family with a strong tradition of service in law enforcement. In the summer of 2002, while attending technical school and working as a student ambassador, she met the man she would eventually marry. Three years later, they said, “I do.”
Their first child arrived in August 2007, marking the beginning of significant changes in their relationship. Melinda emphasizes the importance of understanding God’s view of marriage and the priorities He established. She hopes that readers will grasp this fundamental understanding from their story.
Over time, their priorities shifted. Melinda wasn’t actively involved in church and lacked a strong support system, being far from her family. While she appreciated their friends, she felt lost in her marriage. She focused her energy on their child, unintentionally putting her marriage and husband on the back burner. As time passed, she began to feel lost in her identity. Social life became less of a priority, and close friends drifted away. In the fall of 2008, they joined a church, which became a turning point.
With a young child and a growing disconnect from her husband, Melinda joined a coed softball team. While she enjoyed the game and the camaraderie, it created further separation from her family. Their son was usually asleep when she returned home, and her husband had to wake up early for work. This was another slow fade in their marriage. The transition from a couple to a family of three proved challenging. Simple things were no longer possible. Waking up early on weekends led to exhaustion, impacting her emotions and stress levels. While she loved her child, she missed the freedom they once had. She took on the responsibility of getting up with the baby to let her husband sleep, but didn’t ask for help, leading to resentment. She assumed he would see her need. Holding things inside created pressure, eventually leading to outbursts. She felt tired, lost, and alone.
Her husband, confused by her emotions, would often say, “Just ask. Tell me what you need. I will help you.” But without open communication, the distance grew. Melinda, an “on the run, fun, fun, fun” person, struggled to slow down and took on more responsibilities to fill the void she felt. She realized that there is a “Jesus shaped hole inside all of us. It’s a hole that only He can fill.” Quoting Jeremiah 17:9-10, she highlights the darkness and deceitfulness of the heart, emphasizing God’s ability to search and examine the mind.
Some of their darkest days came in 2009. They had grown apart and stopped trying in the way they should. Melinda began comparing her marriage to others, developing distorted views of what marriage should be. She became selfish, believing she deserved better and that she had married the wrong person. Quoting Matthew 11:28-30, she recalls Jesus’ invitation to those who are weary and burdened, offering rest and a light burden.
One morning, while preparing for church, Melinda broke down in tears in the bathroom. She felt confused, angry, and emotional. Part of her didn’t want a divorce, but something needed to change. She pleaded with God to change things and show her what to do. That day, she listened intently to the pastor’s message, hoping for a personal message from God. However, she felt defeated when she didn’t receive any direct guidance. She thought God had given up on them. But God wasn’t done yet.
As the associate pastor announced a new six-week marriage class centered on the movie Fireproof, Melinda saw it as the sign she had been waiting for. Initially, her husband was reluctant, not understanding the need for the class. He thought it was for couples with “real issues.” He reluctantly agreed to attend. Melinda felt like their entire marriage was being played out on the screen. She prayed that her husband would “get it” like the husband in the movie. They received a free copy of The Love Dare book. Her husband committed to reading and doing the 40-day journey, even though he wasn’t a reader. The book led to revealing conversations and discussions about painful issues. After the book ended, Melinda saw a transformation in her husband and was happy again. She believed that once God “fixed him,” they could live in their happy marriage.
However, the happiness wore off, and Melinda found herself back in despair. In a heated argument, she uttered the words she swore she would never say: she wanted a divorce. The following days were cold, dark, and lonely. She didn’t want to tell her family or friends because she couldn’t face the hurt and anger. She realized she needed work, too. Quoting Proverbs 3:5-6, she emphasizes the importance of trusting in the Lord and not relying on one’s own understanding.
She didn’t want anything to do with her husband. But one morning, on her way to work, she finally surrendered. She knew she wanted her marriage to be saved, but she had internal issues to address. God was helping her break through walls of pride, anger, and resentment. Bitterness had taken root, and she didn’t know how she could ever love her husband again. Deep down, she knew God wanted them to make it work. She prayed, “God, if this is really what you want… then you are going to have to take all this junk away. I don’t want it anymore. I give in.”
At 9:38 a.m., at her desk at work, something began to happen. It was as if God reached down from Heaven and completely cleared her of all the “junk” that had consumed her for so long. The weight was gone, and she had been set free. She couldn’t wait to get home to see her husband. Quoting Psalms 118:5, she shares how the Lord answered her prayer and set her free.
That night, she fell into her husband’s arms, crying and kissing him. They talked things out, and she felt more love for him than ever before. She wanted to learn as much as she could about marriage to ensure their marriage not only survived but thrived. The following weeks opened up opportunities. She shared their struggles with a coworker, who introduced her to the Jimmy Evans Ministry. They began counseling with their pastor. A group at church started the Love and Respect series. Most importantly, God opened her eyes to the work that needed to be done in her before any transformation could continue in their marriage. She gifted her husband the leather-bound version of The Love Dare book and began her own 40-day transformation journey. Through that book, God worked in ways she never thought possible. He revealed the blessings available when applying biblical principles in marriage. She realized that Christ should be the priority, followed by her husband, putting his needs ahead of hers and vice versa. Quoting Mark 12:30-31, she emphasizes the importance of loving God and loving one’s neighbor as oneself.
Melinda acknowledges the difficulty of the journey and the many times she wanted to give up. However, they continued forward through hard work and heart work. Looking back, she is grateful for what they went through. God saved their marriage and continues to help them every day as they depend on Him to keep their marriage strong. It’s a rock-solid foundation built on Jesus Christ. She thanks God for His intervention in their lives and can’t imagine doing life without her husband. He has become her best friend, a grounded man of faith she looks to with pride. God has called him to the streets. Had they not gone through the transformation, she’s not sure they would have made it through all that’s come. She gets teary-eyed every time she sees, “God took some of the strongest women and made them police wives.” She knows that getting strong doesn’t just happen and that God does everything with purpose.
If this story resonates with you and you are at a breaking point, Melinda encourages you not to give up. If God has put even the slightest ray of hope in your heart, surrender it to Him. Pray, seek, knock, and ask for the help you need. Jesus stands ready to intercede on your behalf. Quoting Romans 8:28-32, she reminds us that God works for the good of those who love Him and that He will graciously give us all things.
-Melinda Merritt